A bitterweet Christmas memory

 This past Sunday Heidi Stevens, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, wrote about her memories of Christmas trees as a divorced mother and how holidays don’t always look the way you think they should. It inspired me to think back on a particular Christmas about 10 or 12 years ago.

While in college, our daughter was dating a delightful young man whose family lived in a Chicago suburb about 45 minutes away from us. On this particular December, his mother had passed away fairly recently and his father and brother were both out of town. So he ended up staying mostly with us. I will call him J in this post.

Well, we don’t celebrate Christmas. Our family is Jewish. (Full disclosure, I was raised Lutheran but converted. This background turned out to be a plus in this situation.) J was obviously sad, and none of us blamed him for feeling that way. We knew there was no way we could create a Christmas like the one he was missing. But we wanted to do something. I bought a tiny tree, about 3 feet tall. J brought back a couple boxes of tree decorations from his house, and he and our daughter decorated the tree. We had presents, because, Chanukah, so they went sort of under the tiny tree. 

J sat by that tree for hours. My heart hurt for him. We welcomed him and treated him like family, but that doesn’t replace one’s family of origin. 

Christmas ended and the kids went back to college. Life continued.

Update: J and our daughter ultimately broke up. We don’t have contact with him because it was too painful for him to see us after the break up. He seems to be doing well, now living in a different state, across the country from us. 

You can find Heidi Stevens’ Balancing Act on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/254414918544059/) and also on X (@heidistevens13)

Musicians in December

 It's the holiday season! And one of the things that means for musicians is concerts. I am a community musician, meaning someone who loves to play, and generally doesn't get paid to play.

I am a member of three musical groups - a community orchestra, a community band, and a (French) horn ensemble. The band used to give a holiday-themed concert, but voted to give it up years ago. My horn group gives two concerts a year, one being in December. The community orchestra I'm a member of also gives a December concert. And this year I'm helping out another community orchestra with their holiday concert. So, concerts on December 7, 8, and 15.

On December 7, I am playing Handel's The Messiah with the Waukegan Symphony. The most famous part of the Messiah is the Hallelujah Chorus, which will end our concert. The first part of the Messiah is about Christmas. The second part, which we are not doing, is about Easter. I did not know that Mozart had adapted Handel's original piece. Mozart re-orchestrated, adding horns, clarinet, oboes, bassoons, and flutes to the Messiah. If not for Mozart, I would not be playing the Messiah this month. We are also playing a Christmas carol medley and Beethoven's Choral Fantasy for piano, choir and orchestra. Whew.

The day before that concert, I will playing a concert with the Cor Corp, a (French) horn choir. We always give a December concert, not necessarily holiday-themed, but we usually include at least one seasonal piece. This year it's a very cute arrangement of Jingle Bells and also Carol of the Bells. We're also playing the Star Trek theme in honor of a departed member of the group. And "Band of Brothers" - what beautiful theme music! 

The next Sunday I will be playing a concert with the Symphony of Oak Park and River Forest, not holiday themed, but we are playing music from the Nutcracker. Not so exciting for the horn section as we mostly get to play the upbeats in the waltzes.

I hope everyone will have the chance to hear some holiday music, no matter what holiday you celebrate.