A childhood memory?

I was trying to think what to write about today. I consulted 642 Things to Write About and decided on this one: "Late one night, you discover an abandoned UFO in the middle of a field outside an abandoned farmhouse."

When I was almost 12, my family moved from a small town in Wisconsin to Cos Cob, Connecticut. It was suburban, being on the train line to New York City, where my father went to work each weekday. But it was also very country-like. Our neighborhood was heavily wooded, no curbs on the streets, and everyone had septic tanks -- no sewers. Also no street lights. It was a friendly neighborhood where most people knew each other. Our house was the last one on one side of the road and was next to a small woods. 

One night we somehow got the news that there was something mysterious happening at the end of the street that ran perpendicular to ours. It dead-ended in another wooded area. Reports were confusing - had something crashed? What?

My dad and sister and I walked around the corner and down to the end of that street. A small group of our neighbors were there. Something had happened. And I still don't know what it was. We all stood around for a while but nothing conclusive happened -- unless the adults were keeping it from us. I don't  think anyone called the police. (Though we had a policeman living next door to us.)

Guesses? Someone hanging out in the woods? Teenagers? A stalled car? A "traveler" bedding down in the woods? 

Memory is a tricky thing. The experts say that every time you "take a memory out to look at," you alter it. And when adults don't explain to you what is happening, that compounds the memory issue. And none of those adults are around anymore to ask, if they would even remember this. 

Maybe the best thing to do with this memory? Use it in a story. 

A bitterweet Christmas memory

 This past Sunday Heidi Stevens, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, wrote about her memories of Christmas trees as a divorced mother and how holidays don’t always look the way you think they should. It inspired me to think back on a particular Christmas about 10 or 12 years ago.

While in college, our daughter was dating a delightful young man whose family lived in a Chicago suburb about 45 minutes away from us. On this particular December, his mother had passed away fairly recently and his father and brother were both out of town. So he ended up staying mostly with us. I will call him J in this post.

Well, we don’t celebrate Christmas. Our family is Jewish. (Full disclosure, I was raised Lutheran but converted. This background turned out to be a plus in this situation.) J was obviously sad, and none of us blamed him for feeling that way. We knew there was no way we could create a Christmas like the one he was missing. But we wanted to do something. I bought a tiny tree, about 3 feet tall. J brought back a couple boxes of tree decorations from his house, and he and our daughter decorated the tree. We had presents, because, Chanukah, so they went sort of under the tiny tree. 

J sat by that tree for hours. My heart hurt for him. We welcomed him and treated him like family, but that doesn’t replace one’s family of origin. 

Christmas ended and the kids went back to college. Life continued.

Update: J and our daughter ultimately broke up. We don’t have contact with him because it was too painful for him to see us after the break up. He seems to be doing well, now living in a different state, across the country from us. 

You can find Heidi Stevens’ Balancing Act on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/254414918544059/) and also on X (@heidistevens13)

Musicians in December

 It's the holiday season! And one of the things that means for musicians is concerts. I am a community musician, meaning someone who loves to play, and generally doesn't get paid to play.

I am a member of three musical groups - a community orchestra, a community band, and a (French) horn ensemble. The band used to give a holiday-themed concert, but voted to give it up years ago. My horn group gives two concerts a year, one being in December. The community orchestra I'm a member of also gives a December concert. And this year I'm helping out another community orchestra with their holiday concert. So, concerts on December 7, 8, and 15.

On December 7, I am playing Handel's The Messiah with the Waukegan Symphony. The most famous part of the Messiah is the Hallelujah Chorus, which will end our concert. The first part of the Messiah is about Christmas. The second part, which we are not doing, is about Easter. I did not know that Mozart had adapted Handel's original piece. Mozart re-orchestrated, adding horns, clarinet, oboes, bassoons, and flutes to the Messiah. If not for Mozart, I would not be playing the Messiah this month. We are also playing a Christmas carol medley and Beethoven's Choral Fantasy for piano, choir and orchestra. Whew.

The day before that concert, I will playing a concert with the Cor Corp, a (French) horn choir. We always give a December concert, not necessarily holiday-themed, but we usually include at least one seasonal piece. This year it's a very cute arrangement of Jingle Bells and also Carol of the Bells. We're also playing the Star Trek theme in honor of a departed member of the group. And "Band of Brothers" - what beautiful theme music! 

The next Sunday I will be playing a concert with the Symphony of Oak Park and River Forest, not holiday themed, but we are playing music from the Nutcracker. Not so exciting for the horn section as we mostly get to play the upbeats in the waltzes.

I hope everyone will have the chance to hear some holiday music, no matter what holiday you celebrate.

Childhood Memory: building things

I was stuck today for what to write, so I got this prompt from 5-Minute Daily Writing Prompts (a book): Write about your childhood experience with experimenting or building. Did you play with LEGO blocks, mix crazy concoctions in your kitchen, make bottle rockets, grow crystals from a kit, or build elaborate forts?

Well, there were no LEGOs when I was a kid. I did have science kits, which I enjoyed. I don't think I actually learned anything from doing the experiments. My sister and I would sometimes mix various liquids, all safe to drink but tasting horrible mixed together. But building things...

One year I made a castle for my little brother, out of cardboard boxes and oatmeal containers, the round ones. It had a drawbridge and the round towers. I don't remember much else about it except my brother loved it. We must have played with it quite a lot. Years later when our mother was doing triage (which she did regularly) she wanted to throw the old castle out. My brother protested and kept it. 

I don't know how long that castle lasted. Certainly when my parents sold the house in Connecticut and moved into a condo in Minnesota, the castle did not move with them. 

I asked my brother if he remembers the castle. If he responds, I'll add on to this post. 

What my daughter did to celebrate her birthday

 My daughter Jamie turned 34 last Saturday and she decided to celebrate by giving cake to homeless people. She told us this and we were naturally concerned about her safety. But, she assured us that she was taking three friends with her, including two young men, and that they would stay safe. [Spoiler: they were fine.]

She called us after the weekend to tell us about it. The four of them drove to places that they were pretty sure homeless people would be. The first place was deserted, but the second place, a park, had quite a few people. 

She said she walked over to people saying, "Would you like a piece of cake? It's my birthday." Nearly everyone said yes and some asked if they could have a second piece. She was happy to give them more. Her girl friend had decided to bring socks to give to the people they met and gave those out. 

The one man who turned down the cake told them that he has terminal cancer and no access to healthcare. He asked them to pray for him. From what Jamie told us, he seemed to be at peace with his life and future.

The four of them were so pleased with how successful the venture was that they decided to repeat on Sunday. So Jamie baked another cake, and they all went out again.

I know giving cake to a group of homeless people will not change the world, but maybe it cheered a few people for a little while. It makes my heart happy that she thinks to do things like this. 

Interactions with People

 We recently returned from a trip to New Mexico. My husband's friend (since 5th grade, they are now in their 70s) and his wife had been asking us to visit ever since their new house was finished. It was a lovely trip - they have a beautiful house and there's a lot to see in the Las Cruces area. Beautiful scenery, so different from Chicago, of course. 

The two of them had planned quite a few activities for us, which was wonderful. Besides beautiful scenery, good food, and interesting places (like White Sands National Park!) what struck me was how many friends they have made in their time so far in New Mexico. And even more than that, how easily they both interact with everyone. 

They picked us up from the El Paso airport and then we stopped at a grocery store there before driving to Las Cruces. In the parking lot of the grocery, Lura started a conversation with the people parked next to us. It started with "would you like this cart?" and ended with us being invited to go on a historical tour of the old section of La Mesilla with the woman's extended family later in the week. Yes, Lura and I went on the tour and had to keep explaining to the very friendly family members that we weren't part of their family, alas.

Meanwhile, the guys were at a men's breakfast. John put together a men's group after moving to Las Cruces that meets every week. 

Another day they took us to the lovely mountain town of Cloudcroft. It's a little touristy, but charming and with beautiful scenery. In a cute shop that sells wine, fancy vinegar and oil, we again made new friends while tasting various items. 

Yet another day we visited White Sands National Park, which was amazing. And there Lura started a conversation with a group of exchange students from Germany.

I'm an introvert. I like people, but I have a hard time beginning interactions with strangers. My super power is listening attentively to others. Is it possible for me to learn to initiate conversations? I think I would like that. I'll need to practice, I think. And have some sort of strategy to get started.

Here's to trying new things!

New Mexico adventure coming up!

 This has turned into our month for traveling! We had a great trip to Boston, which I wrote about last week. Tomorrow we fly to New Mexico to visit one of my husband's oldest friends. They have been friends since elementary school. We are all now retired and John and his wife have moved to Las Cruces. 

I have been to New Mexico only once before; that was to attend a conference of the National Association for Gifted Children. I think it was in Albuquerque. It was my first teacher conference. It was wonderful except for the hotel overbooking. They obviously didn't understand that teachers will show up! I ended up in a conference room on one of those fold up beds. It was bad. I ended up with back pain that sent me to my orthopedic doctor once I was back in Illinois. But the conference was great, eye-opening for for a first year teacher of gifted students.

John and his wife have planned a whole itinerary for our visit. They also inquired about our food preferences and sensitivities. And they are picking us up at the airport in El Paso and stopping at a grocery store on the way back to Las Cruces so we can get food that we like and can eat. It's clear they are great hosts. 

So my mind right now is on what I need to do before leaving tomorrow. Packing, laundry, watering plants, leaving notes for our son who is coming over to check on things, ordering an Uber to airport...

I'm always relieved when we make it to the airport, through security, and finally onto the plane. 

Onward!