Yesterday my husband and I attended the funeral of the mother of a friend. She was 94 and had lived a good life and was beloved by her extended family. As several of her children and grandchildren spoke at the service it was clear this was a brilliant woman. Our friend told us afterwards that his mother had been awarded a scholarship to college, but her parents wouldn't let her go, saying no one would want to marry her if she was college educated. Instead, her poured her energies into her four children. She typed their papers, but would rip up papers she didn't think were good enough and make the child redo the whole thing. She also encouraged each to develop his or her talents. All of her children went to college and are successful adults.
I have been to a number of funerals of women of this same era, those born in the 1920s, and oftentimes the clergyman ends of speaking about what a fine housekeeper and mother the deceased was, because none of them worked outside their home or had pursued advanced education. It just wasn't expected at that time. And it is sad.
Yesterday listening to my friend talk about his mother's life, I also realized how fortunate my mother was in comparison. My mother was raised by her widowed mother, her father having died when she was 2 years old, and her expended family. Her mother, my grandmother, had gone to high school and later to tailoring school, and she insisted that her daughter was going to college. I don't know what made her so determined, whether it was her own need to support herself and her child after unexpectedly losing her husband, or whether she saw the potential in her daughter. And my mother did go to college, graduated with a degree in math, and became a teacher. She was the first in her family to go to college, but her younger cousins followed suit.
My mother did quit working when she married, as nearly every woman did in the 1950s. She encouraged her children to follow their interests, which my brother, sister, and I all did.
I don't have a conclusion to draw from this, just these observations of how things have changed, for the better.
Things have changed for sure; however, I still see and hear the divided voices of those who continue to work outside of the home and those who choose to stay home. We've come a long way but have a ways to go!
ReplyDeleteI agree, and quite a few of those out working are there because they have to work to support themselves and families. It's changed a lot since the 1950s.
DeleteLife has changed but it is still amazing to hear about the fortitude of women throughout the ages, Becky.
ReplyDeleteI guess different families had different priorities. It is wonderful that things are changing. I remember when my wife went to college basically her choices were secretary, teacher, or nurse.
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