A new year, an engagement, a reconciliation

Last summer my husband and I decided it was past time to push our son out of the nest. So, we told him he had 2 months to move out. He's 30, so it was well past time. To our surprise, he got his act together and with his girlfriend, found an apartment. This was after him having to buy a new car and take on payments, insurance, etc. A year of joining the adult world. The girlfriend is a lovely person and they are a good couple, balancing and helping each other. Everything was good!

A few weeks ago, he announced his engagement! We were plunged into wedding planning, though it won't happen until 2020. Once again, we were impressed by the way the two of them worked together to plan an economical wedding celebration.

The other piece of this surprising and heart-warming story is the reconciliation. We have known the parents of the fiancee for years. I'll call them H and S. We all live in the same town, we are all musicians and had played together years ago. When my husband and I elected to leave the community music group that H directed, he took offense, said some regrettable things, and stopped speaking to us. This silently bad blood continued for years 5 years, until the kids got engaged.

I delighted to say that everybody stepped up. We encountered some potholes in our path, but all 4 parents really want this wedding to be a wonderful experience, focused on the kids. The 4 of us parents went out to dinner last week to discuss wedding things and ended up talking about all kinds of things for 3 hours!

I try to teach my 4th graders productive ways to solve their conflicts, through talking, "I messages," and listening to each other. It is so lovely when it works. And motivated adults can do the same.

Happy New Year!