I was stuck for what to write about today. So I finally took out my metaphor dice and played around until I got "memory is a back-handed mirror." According to one online dictionary "back-handed" means "indirect, ambiguous or insincere." I think that is quite astute of my dice.
My husband and I often compare our memories of things that happened to the two of us. Our versions are never the same. One example: when our first child, Ben, was still a baby, we were invited to go sailing on friends' sailboat. Somehow there were donuts, I don't remember where they came from. We were attempting to get on the boat carrying Ben. In my version, I am holding Ben and a donut. I was going to hand Ben to my husband. The donut was accidentally placed really close to his mouth; he took advantage and took a bite. At that point in his life he was eating only baby food, no chunks. He didn't choke (thank goodness) and smiled like it was the best thing ever in his short life.
My husband's version is almost identical except that he is holding Ben and the donut.
I read somewhere that every time you revisit a memory - take it out of your memory bank and look at it -- you change it. I wondered why, so I did a search. According to an article about a Northwestern University study, "Every time you remember an event from the past, your brain networks change in ways that can alter the later recall of the event. Thus, the next time you remember it, you might recall not the original event but what you remembered the previous time." (https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2012/09/your-memory-is-like-the-telephone-game/#:~:text=Every%20time%20you%20remember%20an,you%20remembered%20the%20previous%20time.)
Then I think that things like math facts and vocabulary must be stored in another part of the brain since they don't get altered (generally). And that's good thing.
The mind throws a gentle curveball to our pleasant memories.
I love this post, and your included quote (I love research). This happens so, so often with my husband! He always swears his version is the correct one, so I'm inclined to show him your research and prove there's a reason our versions differ ha!
ReplyDeleteI think it's hard to argue with your own memories. They are so real in your head.
DeleteLove that little donut story! I have also heard some of the research on how each time we remember something we re-create it afresh. Enjoy this one, as long as you and your husband dont argue about who had the baby!
ReplyDeleteI don't argue with him about this memory at all. It's very sweet that he remembers holding our baby with the donut.
DeleteThat's a sweet memory, for sure. First donut. On a boat. Never a bite of solid food, so first bite of solid food was a donut. That's just simply priceless, and it sounds like donuts may be part of many future events in his life. Like birthdays.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is a favorite memory for us that seems to come up regularly.
DeleteI love metaphor dice and since my brain often defaults to metaphor, it's a natural way of thinking and writing for me. And I really appreciate your division of "memory" which is either a process or an idea, and "memories" which is clearly a set of ideas; the development of neuroscience and the ways that we continue to rewrite our memories fascinates me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment!
DeleteIt is something how no two people recall the same event the same way. I never knew there was a study done on this. I will need to read it later on. Like you and your husband, often times Kathy's version of an event and mine differ slightly.
ReplyDeleteThe above was me, arjeha.
DeleteMemory is fascinating, the way it works, or sometimes doesn't work.
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